Her Escape
by merlfoxFell
Summary: Hermione's life has not been picture perfect to say the least. Can anyone change that? lemon, abuse, rape, adult themes.
1. Chapter 1 Prelude to Dreamland

Disclaimer: As I am writing this on fan fiction I am quite obviously J.K. Rowling. I co-wrote this with my sister, so as you may have noticed their are two copies of the same story, her name is Draconis Eradini for anyone who wants to search it up so don't worry, I'm not a fic-stealer

"NOOOOO!!!" she screamed inside her head. "Not again..."

For years it had happened, every night. Stupidly she had thought after the extended amount of time that she had spent away from his foul clutches, he would have given up, got bored, realised how wrong and immoral it was.

Biting back her screams, she clutched the pillow, willing her nightly torture to end. Silent tears coursed steadily from her red chapped eyes.

The bruises were going to show, how she was going to cover them up for tomorrow? Without magic!? Tomorrow, the journey that would free her from the hell hole she had known for the last six weeks. She wished that she could stop it, she wish childishly that all families got their happily ever after.

Turning her head to the side, avoiding the stench of his breath, alcohol marred with a lack of personal hygiene that threatened to consume her. His rough mouth instead bit down hard on her collar bone, working his way down to her breasts. She pushed her chin up. Away, to block it all out.

'Scream sweetheart, do it for daddy'

And she did, the consequences of not doing so where to ghastly to envisage, but she had endured them many times before.

Blood trickled from her sore nipples, red carving its way down her trembling body. Using to fat gnarled fingers he slashed at her core, before clashing into soft swollen folds. Ripping the soft flesh around his fingers, he laughed a cold heartless laugh, and yet his hard member twitched in eager anticipation.


	2. Chapter 2 Limbo

Tears of the enemy 

She wore a high necked dark woollen jumper, which hid as best it could the marks on her neck.

He dropped her off at the station, with a whispered 'You'll miss me sweetheart, but don't worry; I'll get working on some new fantasies for us to re-enact when you come back to me. You always do". This last statement was admitted with a humourless cackle. Before whipping back around and jumping into his other baby, his beautiful sports car, and rushing off leaving her in the smog of his testosterone fuelled exhaust fumes.

She sighed. He was gone. At least until next summer, this fact however did not keep the nightmares at bay. Should she achieve the required grades, she would never have to return, but his refusal to accept her promising magical ability and his taunts of 'worthless whore' and 'unlovable witch echoed in her head, beating back any confidence she might previously have had.

Slipping through the barrier to platform 9 ¾ spotting Harry and Ron, she waved and pointed to her badge, showing her friends where she was headed, (the head boy/girl carriage) a tense smile on her face, wincing slightly as she waved, as it opened the partially healed scabs on her shoulder, marred with old scars from previous night time tortures.

Turning away from her best friends, she headed up the scarlet steam engine to the Head's Carriage, climbing in she was relieved to see that it was empty. Wondering who the new head boy would be she prepared to change into her robes. Levitating her trunk into the luggage rack, she extracted her robes and with a flick of her wand released the blind concealing what was left of her privacy.

Slipping off her backless slip-ons, carefully pulling down the sleeves of her jumper, trying desperately to keep the pressure on her bruised skin to a minimum she gingerly grabbed the hem and pulled it over her head moaning with the pain as it caught the tender skin of her back. Placing her thumbs under the waistband of her blue soft, safe tracksuit bottoms, she slid them gently over her blackened and blue thighs. Stepping carefully out of them, gasping with the smarting cold on her abuse induced cuts, she pushed them into her bottomless, feather light bag.

She was just about to pick up her smoothly iron Hogwarts robes and slip them over her head when the compartment door rattled, opened then shut. Flinging herself across the compartment to hide from the possible prying eyes in the corridor, yes gasped as a searing pain shot across the freshly bloodied scars on her back from the previous night's onslaught. Whimpering from the ache in her back, she felt a tear streak unbidden down her face, just as fresh blood worked its way from her re opened cuts.

Lifting the disillusionment charm, Draco stepped towards her, unsure of how to act, walking softly towards her, locking the door silently behind him he raised his hands to help, showing he was not armed. Hermione flinched away curling herself tightly into a ball her arms protecting her head as though afraid of blows. It was then that he saw the blood trickling down her back in rivers.

Draco stood stock still with utter shock at the unknown battered girl before him

"errrrrm... I'm Draco Malfoy, are you oka....' He trailed off...

He trailed off as the girl raised her head minutely her chocolate brown eyes uncomprehending anything other than his dark figure apparently looming over her was lost in her terror.

'Granger?!'

She winced at the noise as though he had shouted it at her. Her hands clasped around her ears, moving her lips soundlessly pleading with her father and master, not present except in her terrified imagination.

Malfoy stepped forwards to place an arm on her shoulder to offer comfort, but before he could touch her, he was thrown back against the carriage wall by an invisible force that seemed to have emanated from Hermione's shaking frame.

'Granger what the fuck' He shouted pushing himself up from where he landed momentarily incensed he jumped up, moving towards her.

'Please Daddy, please I'll do whatever you want just not again, please' She whispered her lips , chapped and saw he noticed with bruises and bite marks evident along her cheek bones, trembling as she lowered herself onto the ground at his feet.

A rage of unknown kind filled him; he wanted to hex the muggle filth who had done this to anyone, especially a witch, even Granger.

Sinking to his knee's so as not to pose a threat he tentatively stretched his long slender fingers towards her relatively undamaged forearm, enclosing her warm yet shaking arm in his slender ivory hand. He didn't know if she was shaking from cold or fright, but only now registered consciously that she was still in her underwear, he had not noticed in all the unexplained drama previously, now shocked him.

Moving silently of the floor, not missing her flinch and whimper at his sudden movement, he picked her robes from the seat and gently placed them on the floor beside her.

'Granger...Hermione...' Drawing his wand slowly, noticing how Hermione's eyes darted to it 'I'm going to clean you up' In a voice of such tenderness. She was almost certain now that it could not be her father.

As he touched various spots across her back blood was siphoned off, the cuts were cleaned and healed, yet still left pink gashes that were sure to scar.

At this point, he noticed a gash that ran from behind her earlobe and disappeared out of sight down her back. It seemed to continue along the backs of her thighs all the way to her inner knee.

Not wishing to scare her with his unwavering, scrutinizing gaze, he scrunched his eyes shut, unable to rid himself of the image of this poor defenceless mutilated woman before him. He felt physically sick.

Speaking softly 'Hermione, I need you to stand up so I can get you into your robes, I'm not going to hurt you.'

Gently taking hold of her elbows, he lifted her to her feet, supporting her quivering form, although his presence seemed to reduce her flinches , she did not cry out in pain as he had feared she would.

It had clicked finally, whoever was helping her now, was not her father, they could be trusted it seemed.

He began to bend down when he realised he was supporting her, and their close proximity might cause her further fright. Taking both her hands in one of his, he bent sideways scooping up her robes from the floor. Cautioning her with his eyes, although not sure she understood, he unfolded her robes and tentatively raised the robes to place them over her head, she watched carefully, although her blank expression, while free from fear, conveyed little awareness of her surroundings other than the tall pale man in front of her, with kindness in his eyes.

Slipping the robes over her head, he looked into her eyes, trying to convey the trust and help her understand he didn't wish to hurt her.

'Hermione, I need you to lift you arms for me' and neither breaking eye contact she consented, raising her arms and allowing Draco to place the robe on her. Sliding the robes down her arms, her was careful not to touch the tender skin with either the fabric of the robes or his surprisingly gentle hands.

Getting the robes over her head and torso, for they were very loose, he gently released them letting them cascade to the ground in a black waterfall.

She lowered her hands, placing them both in his, the trust in her eyes beginning to deepen. He guided her to the seats and sat opposite her, although leaning forward, never releasing his grip on her now calmed hand.

'Hermione, I'm just going to go down the corridor and get you some food from the trolley, I will lock the door behind me so no one can get in, but you know that if you need to get out, you will be fine, your wand is here' He said gently detaching his hand from hers and reaching to pick her wand from beside her small yet bottomless beaded bag.

Getting up slowly, in a daze, from the mornings situation, he silently unlocked the compartment, slipping out of the door, turning to give a reassuring smile she did not see as she was now staring out of the window at the fleeting rain.

'Alright Malfoy, come in our compartment' echoed in his ears as his fellow Slytherin's called him. He simply shook his head in acknowledgment and continued walking.

On reaching the food trolley, he grabbed a handful of pepper imps and a couple of pumpkin pasties for the two of them, throwing his money down in his haste to return.

He took no notice of the calls of his fellows this time, intent on returning to Hermione.

He found he sitting just as he had left her, although now with her eyes closed, she appeared not to notice him, she looked so very peaceful, hair lying about her face in a tangled web.

She opened her eyes, and the tiniest of smiles appeared on her lips. 'Draco'.

Looking at her in shock, he smiled tentatively, handing her the pumpkin pasty and a handful of imps.

She placed her hand in his, and his mouth opened in shock. She smiled again and Draco began to tell her small details of his holidays, then including an evil retelling of the incident in 6th year where Harry's nose given an oh most satisfactory crunch under his foot. This description drew a small disapproving look to Hermione's face, and Draco thought he caught her rolling her eyes. He turned his head away to sneak a small smile.


	3. Chapter 3 The Feast

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**If you are reading this story, please follow the link above to one of the most beautiful and sad DxH stories ever written, it made me cry.**

The Feast, Complications

He waited until the train was empty, trusting the prefects to sort out the younger students, to lead her out onto the little platform. He could see the backs numerous students, heads bowed against the rain, making their way to the carriages.

She was walking a little behind him, as though he was protecting her, and remembering that it was raining, he turned to make sure she had a cloak, only to find her shivering in little more than her robes, which were soaking and clinging tightly to her far too skinny frame.

A look of concern on his face, he unfastened his cloak from around his shoulders and ever so slowly passed it to her. She shook her head vigorously, but he rolled his eyes at her and she took it.

'Thank you' she whispered. And he knew it wasn't the cloak she was thanking him for.

----------

The last carriage stood empty and waiting expectantly for them, he opened the door for her and was about to offer her a hand up when he withdrew. He didn't want to scare her.

Seeing this, Hermione looked at him, and extremely nervously, reached out her trembling hand. He gave her his and she stepped into the carriage.

It was a silent journey to the castle, neither quite sure of the other, but an understanding had been formed and although her fear was still there, a little trust was beginning to grow.

They walked up the front steps, their luggage had been brought up already and through the great Oak front doors as they had done so many times before. Turning her head to the side, Hermione took a great breath, slowly letting it out as she prepared to wear the mask she always carried, Ron and Harry could never know, never find out, so she set her face, and walked on, the shivers still threatening to overcome her.

Malfoy noticed he recognised the look; it was the one he had before assumed was just of concentration 'that goody-two-shoe always thinking about work'; but now he could see the mask, recognise the pain it covered, she had been suffering all these years.

The sound of a familiarly brisk sounding walk, he looked ahead, seeing McGonagall, he tried to steer Hermione away, to avoid confrontation, but McGonagall saw them.

'Malfoy, Granger, late I see' But she didn't sound to stern 'just making sure there were no stragglers I take it'.

She waited for a response.

'Well, it's nice to see you taking your duties so seriously.' She continued when none presented themselves.

Malfoy nodded courteously, but said nothing, Hermione was just standing there, her mask still in place but apparently unable to speak.

'Yes, Professor'

Smiling, McGonagall continued 'There are a few things I need to discuss with you two, such as your accommodation and further duties. You are in charge of all the prefects and it is your job to organise the corridor patrol, meetings, if any issues arise you are responsible for telling me, I shall explain more fully tomorrow, but for now, your accommodation'.

'Are we not in our house towers Professor?'

'No Mr. Malfoy, yourself and Miss Granger'. Here she nodded curiously towards Hermione, who for the first time, smiled, 'are in shared accommodation, meaning that you share a tower, the south western one to be precise. The entrance is behind the painting of Uric the Oddball; you each have a dormitory with en-suite, and a small common room to share,with space for both work and relaxation. You are of course still permitted to go into your houses, but for ease you are 'bunked' together, if you will forgive the expression. It means that should and issue arise, you can deal with it easily and together. Also organising events and duty schedules should be simple'.

'Yes Professor, Thank you. Do you think that Hermione and I could go up to the dorms now as we both ate enough on the train? It would give us time to sort everything for tomorrow and get planning the schedules and so forth'.

'Certainly Mr. Malfoy, but are you sure you aren't hungry?'

'If we need something Professor, we'll sort it, thank you'

'Alright Mr. Malfoy, Miss Granger, goodnight'

'Oh! I almost forgot' Called McGonagall 'The password is 'Unite', Goodnight'. And with that she left to collect the sorting hat and return as the 1st years needed to be sorted into their houses.

**Hey! Please R&R, Reviews are cookies and I like cookies, especially chocolate chip! Any improvements/suggestions are welcome, as is a beta! **

**Thanks**

**MerlfoxFell (Otherwise known as Fell)**


	4. Chapter 4 Conversations

**Hmm... This is not the best chapter, I may well re-submit it at a later stage, not sure, but it isn't brilliant at any rate... Remember, Reviews are like cookies and you have to like cookies!**

Chapter 4-Conversations

He led her silently, stopping to check she was still beside him. Now they were alone, she let the facade slide from her features. Her face was still a mask, but one of pain and horror. He still didn't understand exactly what had put it there but vowed to find out.

He stopped outside the portrait of Oddball, snoozing in his frame.

'Unite' He shouted at the frame and Hermione flinched so violently that he thought she had collapsed. She coward against the wall, eyes screwed up as if waiting for the torment to begin.

It didn't come, she opened her eyes, and looked straight at Draco then broke down into terrible heart wrenching sobs, sinking to the floor, she curled into a tight ball, rocking slowly backwards and forwards.

'I'm sorry, so sorry' Malfoy walked lightly towards her and ever so tentatively lifted her. She was as light as air, as he had expected.

Carrying her through the portrait hole, holding her carefully away from his body so as not to scare her, he walked into the common room of sorts.

'Do you want to stay down here? Or go up stairs?'

'The feast' she rasped.

'Oh no, you're not going to walk into the middle of the feast, the trouble it would cause' He teased.

She smiled looking up at him through her dewy eyelashes. She seemed too relax.

' I have to go now, are you going to be alright? I'll grab us some food'.

'Don't leave me'

The calm of a few moments ago disappeared into fear and pain as she began to sob terror overtaking her.

'I'll be back before you know it'

' Bbbbut I have to do my prefect duties, and h-hhelp ,and see my friends and sort everything out, organise them, they can't know why I'm not there, they'll worry, and I have to see them, so they can see I'm okay, and, and.....' She trailed off.

'No' Malfoy said firmly. 'You can see them tomorrow; they will survive one night without you. They know your head girl right?'

She nodded.

'Well then, its fine, your just doing your head duties, If they ask McGonagall, she'll just say you're in your accommodation organising everything. So no worries.'

He left with an 'I'll be right back', leaving her curled on the sofa, still wearing his cloak.

* * *

Harry and Ron were starting to get seriously worried. Ron had said the Prefect meeting that was usually led by the head boy and girl, neither had showed. Having seen Hermione at Kings Cross briefly, he knew she was Head Girl, as he had expected. He was very happy for her, but didn't know who the other head was. What he really wanted to know was why Hermione hadn't showed. She was the last person to be late or miss a deadline, meeting or anything to be honest. So supremely organised, it was almost as though she was trying to prove her worth, always trying to be better for someone, and she had managed to miss a meeting she had not only known about, but organised.

Ron dismissed her absence.

'Bet she's already doing homework or perhaps she's sick, she looked a bit out of it at the train station'

'Yeh' Said Harry uncertainly 'I really hope she's ok, she's been looking bad for the past few years, thin, ill'.

'Nah, she's just our stressed Hermione. Anyway, we'll see her tonight; I mean she can't avoid us at the tower.'

'Hey, actually she won't be there' Interjected Ginny who had been listening and had also missed Hermione, but became worried until Ron and Harry said she was the Head girl'.

'What?' Said Ron and Harry in unison 'Why on earth not?'.

'Because she's head girl isn't she' said Neville 'The heads share a tower'

Ron blinked pointedly.

'What?'

'They share a tower'.

'How do you know this?' Asked Ron, since when had Neville been the fount of all knowledge.

'Everyone knows Ron, your just too stupid to notice' said Ginny.

'Surely she would have come to the feast?' Said Harry, clearly still worried about his friend 'And who's Head Boy anyway?'

It was nearing the end of the feast, when Malfoy slipped, relatively unnoticed into his seat at the Slytherin table.

He sat next to Pansy.

'Why are you so late?'

'Head Boy rubbish'

'Yeah, when you didn't show we wondered, gonna beat those moronic Gryffindor's into submission?'

'Well, now that I have this newfound power' He said tentitavely.

'Are you alright Malfoy, you feeling ill, normally you would have shouted down about 20 unsuspecting 1st years by this time.

'Uhh' he said annoyed. 'It's just being back at this stupid school'

Pansy rolled her eyes and accepted this without question.

'Tell me about it' She said.

Draco had missed the speech at the start of the feast, and now McGonagall stood up, having walked into the hall not long before Malfoy.

'I shall not keep you long, as you had all better get to bed, but I only wish to say. I hope that I can amount to half the teacher that our late Professor was and that everyone makes mistakes and I hope we can all move on and towards a shared future'. And with those uncharacteristically soft parting words, the school rose and filed noisily out of the hall.

Malfoy noticed the worried expressions of Harry and Ron across the hall, but he really couldn't face a conversation of this nature with them at the moment. He needed to get back to Hermione.

Having grabbed some food before it all disappeared and stashing it away in a napkin, he hid it in the pocket of his robes, slightly regretting that he had left Hermione with his cloak as the bulge was now rather obvious.

'Hey, Malfoy, where you going?'

'Stupid Head stuff'

'Oh right' said Nott and his cronies, nodding and rolling their eyes.

With that he walked out of the hall, so fast it looked as though he would break into a run. He reached the portrait and panted 'Unite'. It swung forward to admit him and he clambered through, extremely glad no Slytherin's where there to see his rather ungainly entrance.

'Hermione' He panted 'I brought some...' He trailed off. For there was Hermione lying with her head thrown back and hair in curls around her face sound asleep. The bags under her eyes showed this was not a regular occurrence, and he was glad, but sure it wouldn't last long.

Wondering if he should leave her there or carry her up to bed, he sat opposite and watched, for any sign she would wake, after all it was barely Hermione slept soundly until 10'oclock, by which point he thought that he should like to go to bed himself.

He decided he couldn't just leave her to sleep on the couch, and as the stair way to the dorms was shared, he assumed he wouldn't go sliding down them.

Reaching tentatively toward her, he placed one arm under her knees, and the other around her waist. Praying that she didn't wake up and panic, he lifted her. True to his earlier predictions she was so light and fragile he was surprised she didn't just break in the wind.

He walked silently towards the stairs, the thick purple carpet softened his footsteps, and to the wooded stairs. Climbing carefully, so as not to make them creak, he reached the top and found two rooms. One with a brass plate entitled 'Head Boy' the other 'Head Girl'. Pushing gently against the 2nd door, he walked inside.

It was a medium sized room, with a slightly larger than single bed in the centre. A large wardrobe stood to its one side and to the other a bedside cabinet, beautifully decorated with a twisting yet simple leave pattern reminiscent of fairytale elves. There was also a small dressing table similarly carved, next to a doorway Malfoy assumed must be the en-suite.

Now he faced a dilemma, he could hardly let her sleep in her robes, but to undress her would be forfeiting any trust that he had gained over the past few hours. He decided to remove her/his cloak from her shoulders, a difficult task as he was still holding her, peel back the covers and place her on the bed, leaving her as she was. He covered her in to duvet laying her head ever so gently on the pillow.

He thought that he should probably get out some of her pyjamas for her for when she woke up (if she did), but that would mean riffling through her possessions and doing so while she was asleep seemed dishonest and sneaky.

He compromised. Going across to his own room, he grabbed one of his shirts from the top of the pile. A garment of which he had few, owing to the fact that he wore robes even during the holidays, and placed it beside her bed on the floor, he then left her, and went down to their shared common room to sit in front of the fire and contemplate the events of the evening, there was certainly no shortage of mysteries.

**One thing, there is a little button down there which says 'Review' on it. Please do, I welcome any comments, improvements, anything! The only thing I would ask you to refrain from doing is simply writing 'this is rubbish' or something to that effect. Its not the fact that you think its rubbish that I mind, well just a bit, but still, a reason for why it is and how to improve, that would be nice.**

**Thanks x**


	5. Chapter 5 Morning After

Uncertainties 

Malfoy went to bed late that night, after sitting so late in the common room, he had so much going round and round perpetually circling in his head.

What had happened to Hermione? It seemed that she had been abused, but why? For how long? By whom? Why didn't Potter or Weasely notice?

He went to sleep, the questions still circling like ever watchful hawks, waiting for a sign of weakness.

When he awoke, after much stumbling around, in his general morning havoc, he remembered the events of the previous night. Stumbling across the hall to Hermione's room, he reached the door in a flash , then paused. He didn't want to frighten her by walking in at God knows what time in the morning. Knocking lightly on the door, he stepped back, trying to make himself a little more presentable.

'Hermione' He called 'Are you ok'?

No answer... Was she still asleep, in the bathroom, scared? There was only one way to find out.

'Hermione, I'm going to come in.'

He opened the door.

The empty room that greeted him, filled with sunlight on the cold crisp September morning was a welcome sight, relieved he had not scared her, he turned to go. Then he remembered.

Where was she?

He hurried back to his room to change into his Hogwarts robes, complete with twisted serpent and Head Boy badge, and then rushed down the stairs in search of Hermione.

Reaching their common room , the dying embers of the fire in front of which he had sat last night, staring so pensively into the flames, he saw a piece of parchment sitting on the table, folded, and with the neat yet slanted cursive of one who is in a rush.

'Malfoy'

'I just wanted to say thank you for everything. We need to get together to plan all the prefect duties timetables and meeting, schedules and well anything else you can think of.

P.s. I know that everything is different now, but Ron and Harry don't know anything, so please, could you keep it too yourself, and I'll, well, try to explain a bit...'

He noticed how her handwriting grew untidy at this point, as though she had been shaking, shaking with fear.

Hermione had woken early, feeling refreshed. It was the first time she had slept in a month. Every night she would crawl into bed, her body broken and cry herself to sleep, because of him. She felt herself begin to shake and forced her mind away. He couldn't get to her here. But even as she thought it, she remembered. She had been ordered, yes ordered, to write to him every day, to tell him everything. This new stipulation was brought about by her misbehaviour. She knew she deserved the punishment; she had been so very naughty.

Her head swimming, she leant onto the table as his voice rang in her ears.

'_Stupid bitch, what did you do that for?'_

'_S-s-s-sorry, I-I didn't...'_

'_Well what are you going to do about it, how can I trust you won't get up to such stupid things while your away at your freak house?' _

'_I w-w-won't, I p-p-promise'_

'_Yeh, well I don't think much of your promises, you promised to make me cum didn't you, stupid little bitch? You couldn't even manage that baby. You know what?'_

'_W-w-w...'_

_He glared at her then, his expression grew into the malicious delight that taunted her, and left her in fear..._

'_Daddy's gonna think up a nice little punishment for you, I think I'll get creative.' _

_And he pushed himself on top of her, grabbing her thighs and pulling outwards until she screamed'._

'_Finally, nice and opened up, Daddy's got a big cock baby, you really should appreciate it more, pay it more attention, or you'll pay'_

_And with that he shoved his thick member into her still developing body holding her legs in the splits position, leaving such a small opening that his forceful entrance drew blood._

Hermione collapsed on the floor in tears of terror. She didn't understand, she never fell to pieces like this, for 7 years she had kept it together, never showing anyone the pain, and hiding behind her knowledge, her brain was her power, but not when it came to him. How could she let herself go, held so rigidly in place by fear and a determined heart breaking wish for normality, for everything to be alright.

Forcing her eyes shut, she halted the tears, angry with herself. Draco was not yet up, and she was scared of what would happen when she met him. Deciding to leave him a note, and after applying her foundation, not for vanity, but to cover the scars of the latest night, she grabbed parchment and quill from the table beside her, now for what to write.

The general chatter concerning prefect duties was easy to scribble out, but she felt she had to say something about last night, thank him for everything and explain, starting again she first thanked him, and she hoped he could see just how much his support had meant to her. Detailing the need for a meeting came easily, but then she stopped. She knew he would want some kind of explanation, but how could she explain, especially in a note. Reaching the bottom, she added a P.s.

'I know that everything is different now, but Ron and Harry don't know anything, so please, could you keep it too yourself, and I'll, well, try to explain ,a bit...'

She didn't know what else to write, but he would be up soon. She left the note lying on the table, and climbing carefully through the portrait hole she went to continue the false masquerade that was her life.

A/N **I will try to update, but for the moment, I have a pile of coursework, and as I am writing this I am meant to be studying for a Physics exam! Ohh fun! So I may be away for a while but I haven't abandoned it.... Frankly, who'd rather be revising when they can read/write FF!!**


	6. Chapter 6 Uncertainties

Uncertainties

Hermione was sitting at breakfast with Ginny when Malfoy walked in. She saw his pensive expression, the way his eyes flickered towards the Gryffindor when he entered, but she turned away, continuing to talk to Ginny, acting as she always had, as though nothing was wrong.

'So, what did you do over the summer Hermione, I didn't see you on the train, but Neville said something about Head Girl stuff, anyway... how was it?' Said Ginny, continuing the light conversation.

'Nothing interesting, the usual'

'Why didn't you come over to our place?'

'Sorry, I had so much to do, and I couldn't leave my Dad' her eyes darkened ever so slightly at this statement, no one knew why she had to stay, it wasn't by choice.

'Oh, that's alright, I understand, but you have to come over for Christmas! We can't have it without you!' said Ginny, instantly becoming excited.

'We'll see' Said Hermione, now smiling indulgently, oh wouldn't she love to go to the Burrow for Christmas, it would be bliss, to be free for once. But she didn't think he would allow it, she had gone almost every time before, but he was slowly tightening his hold on her as she got older, all those 'skiing trips' were just another excuse to tie her down, lock her up, keep her. He owned her.

Her eyes unfocused as she remembered his statement as she walked out the front door, before they were in the eyes of the world...

'You are mine, remember that child, mine, you will write every single day, and if you miss a letter, I will make sure you pay twice when you come back to me. Got that Baby?'

She had nodded, submissive, 'yes father'

'Now don't forget when we walk out that door' He was leaning in, his putrid breath hot in her face as he crushed his mouth to hers, painfully pushing , almost biting, but careful not to let it bleed, his hand inched to her waist.

'Just one more touch baby, cause your little opening ain't gonna have no key for a while, it'll feel lonely, or it better do' Threatening, as if she would ever dare be with anyone, as if the terror of his nightly encounters didn't stop her.

In her mind she felt his rough hand pushing tearing....

At this point, Harry and Ron walked in, breaking into her trauma filled thoughts, they saw Hermione and made a beeline for her. Taking a deep breath she prepared herself for it....

'Where were you last night, why weren't you at the feast, what happened to meeting us on the train?'... And so the questions continued.

As Ron stopped to draw breath, Hermione sighed breezily, a remarkable show.

'Firstly, I was in the heads' compartment' she started slightly annoyed, with mask firmly in place, but Ron and Harry cut across her.

'Congratulations, we knew you'd get it'.

'Secondly', she continued as though she hadn't heard them, but now with a slight smile.

'I didn't come to the feast, because unfortunately, I had to go and sort out my accommodation'.

Her eyes narrowed fractionally as Ron opened his mouth, then noticing her now steely expression closed it quickly.

'Thirdly, as I have already said, I was in the head's compartment, organising some things before we arrived at school, we are going to be having a prefect meeting soon by the way, so I couldn't come and meet you, sorry.'

Both boys looked a little sheepish at these words, and Ron mumbled a 'Sorry', before hastily sitting down and turning his attention to food. Harry however, continued to look cautiously at Hermione, appraising her, taking in her narrowed figure, and pale face.

'Are you okay Hermione' Harry asked in barley more than a whisper leaning in 'You just look a bit ill, preoccupied that's all'.

'I'm fine Harry' She said briskly, 'Just a little tiered '.

'But what about breakfast, you haven't eaten anything yet'

'Just because I finished my toast before you arrived, doesn't mean I didn't eat' Said Hermione in her best McGonagall impression, temper rising slightly, worry edging into her, Harry and Ron flinched, before cracking nervous grins, she really did sound like a teacher.

It was only Ginny who looked at her strangely Hermione knew she wanted answers but what would she say? 'She hadn't eaten toast, but she just wasn't hungry and didn't want awkward questions' she didn't think that would slide somehow...Dismissing the thought she turned to more pressing matters.

'Ron I need to organise a prefect meeting, I am going to have to talk to Malfoy about it, but as soon as I know can you let everyone know' said Hermione, sounding truly businesslike once more.

'Sure thing Hermione, what we got first?'

Rolling her eyes, Hermione led the way to charms, thankful that this lesson at least was free of the curious eyes of one Draco Malfoy.

* * *

Despite the continuing friendly banter of her two best friends, Hermione couldn't seem to settle back into life at Hogwarts as she normal would. The insistence of an owl every day that had left a bruise on her arm as he grabbed her to stop her from walking away. She didn't know how she would cover her constant need to visit the owlery, perhaps she could say one of her relatives was ill, and she wanted to keep in touch, even better, her Dad was ill, then if the ever happened to read the letter, they would think she was just keeping her dear father updated on everything, as if she ever would want to... she stopped that thought, there was no way she could rid herself of him, so she resolved simply not to try.

Thanks for waiting, I know it has been ages. Sorry... :D I have had alot on my plate lately and the mounting piles of school work really didn't help matters, so here you are, at last. Enjoy.

(Per usual, reviews are welcomed with open arms, hugs to all you who review, please feel free to criticise my work, so long as it is constructive it is helpful)

Thanks

X

Fell


	7. Chapter 7 Lists

Lists-Chapter 7

Charms passed in a blur of general banter Harry and Ron, apparently oblivious to any changes in their best friend, acted as they always did. This concluded with Ron managing to make Harry's Chudley Canon key ring (a model of a bludger, the symbol of Ron's favourite team that he had got for Harry last Christmas) zoom around the classroom and attempt to hit as many people as possible. Finally smacking the tiny professor Flitwick right in the eye and causing him to topple of his precarious stack of books. Hermione thankfully charmed a cushion from the box that had been used so many years before, and placed it underneath him, neatly breaking his fall.

This event caused Ron to beam at Hermione for avoiding total disaster and Professor Flitwick to take 20 points from him for his woeful wand work, subsequently vanishing Ron's winning smile in an instant. However, he decided on balance to award 30 points to Miss Granger for her timely action, apparently extremely grateful that he did not have to submit to the kindly yet overly fussy antics of the Hogwarts matron.

All in all, it was a fairly regular occurrence, the only minor difference being that Seamus had not once blown anything up, and Harry, had had relatively little to do with the hazardous proceedings of which he usually was in the middle.

Hermione saw very little of Draco Malfoy that day, at Lunch he glanced her way often, but she was in determined conversation with Harry and Ron. To appease Ginny's fears, and also in a hopeful attempt to stop any awkward questions as to why she had lied about eating at breakfast, she had filled her plate with everything the Hogwarts Elves had to offer and tucked in to the meal with apparent gusto knowing full well she would regret it later.

Her main worry was Potions; it was first thing on Tuesday morning. In the unlikely event that she managed to avoid his questions tonight in their shared dorm, he would most certainly be on the watch for anything unusual. She decided that in true Hermione-ish fashion, she should list her problems, that way she might find a solution.

She had to throw up all her meals without Draco noticing- This would not be too difficult to achieve at lunch, as she needed only to visit the girls bathroom and cast Muffliato, but no matter how many spells she cast, the shared dorm would make it difficult for her to hide her bulimic tendencies. Possibly there was a spell she could use to reduce her weight, although she suspect that had there been one, all the girls from her old dorm would be matchstick thin by this point, however, she resolved to try.

Ginny- That girl was just far too observant, but hopefully the piles of food eaten today would keep the girl at bay, she didn't want her mixed up in this too.

Then Malfoy. He was the biggest problem. He knew, and he would want answers. Quiet apart from who was on corridor patrol, she knew that she would have to say something, and she dreaded the moment it would come, she didn't know what she would say, but she knew it wouldn't help in the slightest.

Her list complete for the moment, she made her way to the bathroom, Draco was not back from the feast, he had undoubtedly gone with his peers to the Slytherin common room, but she was certainly not complaining, any time alone to organise her thoughts, and to use the bathroom.

She pulled her hair back from her face as she leant over the toilet, sticking her fingers to the back of her throat she gagged, all her senses willing her to stop, she pushed harder, further in, and finally with a retch, she spilled the contents of her stomach, into the waiting basin. Standing and rinsing her mouth with cold water from the sink, she flushed the toilet and proceeded to clean the bathroom, this methodical action showed the repetitive nature of the task.

*Flashback*

'You're getting fat girl, you've got to lose some weight, nobody wants a fatty, nobody loves someone with and arse so big they can barely fuck from the back'

That was the early morning comment passed to Hermione as she rushed around making breakfast, ever the dutiful daughter.

'Did you hear me girl, your FAT, you so fucking FAT' He shouted at her

'Yes father' she whispered

'Don't yes father me! What are you going to do about it, go on, how you going to deal with it girl'

'I don't know'

'Well work it out quick, cause I'm getting pissed'

'Yes father' She sobbed, she never cried in front of him, not if she could help it, in never made any difference, except to make it worse.

'Aww baby, don't cry now, want Daddy to make it all better?'

And he did, not.

*End Flashback*

That was when she had started, every night after she had cooked, washed up and cleaned, and of course done her expected duties in his bed, she had made her way to the bathroom across the hall. He never awoke, of course he had been involved in some serious exertion the moment before and never asked how she kept her weight down, his comments simply made sure it continued, because, if 'fat girl' returned, there would be hell to pay. No, worse than hell.

She had to stop this, these visions or whatever they were, she came back to the present and realised that she was sitting on the floor of the bathroom, her eyes so bright and puffy, and someone had just opened the portrait hole below. Malfoy was back.

Hurrying to her bedroom, she closed the door and switched on the lights, scrambling into her pyjamas she hastily organised her books for the morning with a little help from her wand and was in bed with the light off before his footsteps could be heard creaking along the wooden floorboards to the stairs.

She lay back against her pillow and sighed, she had to get to sleep, and properly sleep, filling her head with happy images of her days at Hogwarts, the time they found the philosophers stone, running down the hall to hug Harry and Ron when she had woken from her petrifaction, and thinking of all those times, she fell asleep, a sleep devoid of nightmares for the first time in almost a year.

Okay, this took me an absolute age to get out! And its soooo short! I apologise, I have had rather a lot going on in my life, even without exams, so thank you for your patience.

Message to my Beta! I would have resent it after I edited it, thanks be to your comments, but I really felt I had to get it out, I haven't written anything in an age, so sorry, But I will send you the next chappie for your magic touch for you to peruse when you are able...

Oh and thanks to all you reviewers! They really are cookies! Although I do prefer Brownies.... who doesn't XD?


	8. Chapter 8 Observing and Tantalising

A/N Hey! IF you are reading this, you know that I'm back! BACK! Soooo sorry, it's been ages, but I really had one hell of a lot on my plate, but there you go, I'm back now thanks to a rather wonderful brownie review from RogueWeyah! And a PM!( just got that, so I added it to the message ) Without that, I really wouldn't be writing, I'm looking through my plan for this story and I'm doing a bit of tweaking, I noticed that I really haven't covered much time, just a few days so far, so I'm aiming to pick up the pace of the story or I'll be living in 1 million chapter land :P. I have exams at the moment, but I've decided I'll just go with the flow, so new chapter here we come!

Oh and on the Day front, they were on the train on Sunday, Monday is Hermione gone in the morning, the Note, we find out she has to write to her father every day, she notices the shirt Malfoy left, it will be important later, she goes to breakfast- this is now chapter 6, Harry is a little worried, Ginny notices she doesn't eat breakfast, Then chapter 7 is also Day 2 ,Charms is the first lesson on Monday. That was more for my benefit, as I noticed I'd already made some mistakes and only after 7 chapters! Nooo! : P Oh and potions is first lesson today..hmmm...

It was the 2nd day back at Hogwarts, and Malfoy had been thinking about breakfast yesterday. What it had meant, the blankness of her face, then the perfect facade, an imprint pasted in place, with a well practiced air. He was uncertain now; he didn't know how he would act when he encountered her properly, face to face, for the first time. She may have caught his occasional glances, but thanks to that unscrupulous mask she held in place, he had no way of knowing.

It had also begun to worry him, that in his thoughts, he had begun to refer to Granger, because that was all she was, as **her, **the only one. That place was never reserved for Pansy or any other or the multitude of crooning, swooning girls that tended to throw themselves at his rather unimpressed feet. The face that she was the only girl, in his mind, he could possibly mean, that only that sole thought that needed to enter his head 'what had happened to her?' 'Why had her face gone so pale at breakfast' and he knew that she was the only one it could possibly refer to, the previously contemptuously scorned, 'Queen of the Mudbloods'.

But now, this girl who he had thought had everything, despite her less than desirable blood, had everything that she could, as a Gryffindor, possibly want. A good group of friends, that gooey sort of friendship at which Draco tended to shudder. Gooey! He was losing his touch! Using such words, how un-Slytherin... or even worse, so not like a true Malfoy! Anyway, yes, she had her friends, and she was top of every class... except apparently defence, although, being second best to Potter didn't seem to bother her as much as it did Weasley. It seemed to grate on the ginger headed weasels' nerves, a fact Draco observed with much satisfaction. But, getting back to his 'Hermione's perfect life story', he was now dissatisfied, he, it seemed, could no longer believe in the perfect portrait of the Gryffindor Head Girls' 'wonderful life'. His eyes had been opened and he did not appreciate that. He was pulling out the side of him that no one ever saw. The sort of side that would have made him and admirable Gryffindor, and, had Potter not had his ultimate hero complex, made him a good Slytherin... if there is such a thing. Shuddering at the thought, Malfoy resolved to try to talk to Hermione, but her reaction on the train had left him severely shaken. If that truly happened, he would have to tread carefully. As much as he despised her 'Gryffindorishness', no one deserved to be that frightened. He needed to have his suspicions confirmed. Or rather, he hoped not to have them confirmed. He hoped it was all some horrible twisted nightmare.

He truly wished it had been, and speaking of nightmares, he hadn't seen or heard Hermione since last night, excluding breakfast, but as that was distant observation, no, not that, he just happened to notice her, he didn't care, he was a Malfoy! Haughty, distant, cold and calculating. But then there was that note he'd discovered this morning 'Ron and Harry don't know', I mean, what was he supposed to think of that. Or even better, what did he know? Only that something was badly wrong, and from the bruising, have a guess at what, but he had no idea at even vaguely how bad it was, and exactly how it had happened. Hazarding a guess, would be risky, but probably come up with results he did not wish to think about at this moment-ever. But surely, they had noticed! Ronald Weasley and Harry Potter, her best friends, they had to know something was wrong... although she seemed adept at hiding it, and he didn't know how long this had been going on, whatever it was. How could they not know? Although, saying that, Potter had looked concerned that morning before Hermione appeared to brush away his worries, but there was still a little uncertainty in his face. Perhaps he would follow it up, although Hermione not being directly challenged and Harry having apparently no evidence besides weak suspicions, Malfoy doubted it. She seemed adept at dismissing any problems, and hiding those that were not so easily dealt with. She was severely intellectually superior to Weasley, and Potter in most subjects he thought, attempting not to be biased, although Potter could be a total idiot at times.

He decided to brush away his thoughts for now, focusing on what he could sort. The prefect meeting. Granger had mentioned it in the note, first, to get hold of her properly. It wasn't yet break, but he was sure that when that came round, she would head to the Gryffindor common room to do a bit of catching up with her crimson hero worshipping house mates. So finding her then was out. Unless she would head out to the lake or the courtyard? No, the weather really wasn't that nice to be honest. Ah! She was Granger... if anywhere was likely, she would be in the library up to her neck in books, researching for some non-existent homework that couldn't possibly be there as it never turned up in vast quantities on the first few days! Ever! No, she couldn't be there. He sighed in defeat, what was he to do? Leave another note? Oh how juvenile, one note was fine, but this, it was like passing notes in class... although, frankly better than enduring the torture of heading over to the Gryffindor table nonchalantly during lunch or the evening feast, the utter oddity of it would cause disgust or hilarity at the Slytherin table at the very least. Oh bother it all, a note it would have to be.

It was a few days later and so far so good, Hermione had succeeded in avoiding Draco Malfoy even so in potions on Tuesday morning, she had sat on the far side of the dungeon with Ron and Harry and Snape, thankfully had asked the lesson to be conducted in silence. Well, perhaps asked was the wrong word, but she had evaded Malfoy, or at least direct contact with him, but she knew she would have to deal with it soon. Sighing as she concluded her 7ft Charms essay, 4ft longer than it should have been by the way, she thought back over everything, wondering what Malfoy was thinking, or if he even cared. He had seemed to on the train, oh gods, the train! How much had she given away with that one stupid moment of inability? She had held her nerve for all the other years, but now, just when she needed to be the model of stability, perfect to a T, Head Girl, she had collapsed, crushed her image. She had been keeping her mask firmly in place since school had begun, working extra hard to try to dismiss any suspicion, although, the incident at breakfast with Ginny worried her slightly, and she was sure Harry had looked at her strangely, but she could rid them of her suspicions, Ron was always a good one to bounce off, he could help her unknowingly, help Harry to dismiss his worries.

Draco Malfoy was shattered; he was beginning to find it difficult to maintain his perfect charade of calm cool collectedness, it pained him to think it, but this was due, almost entirely, to his growing worry about Hermione, they really needed to talk. A few days had passed, and his life had gone from the hectic mess curious worry, to slight panic at the exclusive and elusive nature that Hermione seemed to posses; he hadn't seen her at all!

The first day on the train, when Hermione had seemed so vulnerable, had caused him to question everything he 'knew' about her, and possibly question everything he was himself. When he had taken her up to bed that night he had been genuinely worried for her, had wanted to care for her, and had even left his t-shirt on her bed for goodness sake! Then in the morning he had awoken to find her gone, although hadn't gone to retrieve the shirt... hmm, he would have to ask about that, but how awkward would that be? Ah well, no matter, just another thing to add to the list of awkward, potentially painful conversations, then her note! Again he puzzled, why hadn't she said anything to Ron or Harry about whatever was going on, that appeared obvious from breakfast, though Harry might be able to change that. Perhaps she was in danger? Or trying to protect her friends? Well, that could make sense, but she was a witch for goodness sake, a damn good one, though he hated to admit it, she could protect herself and anyone else, against anything the muggle world she was exposed to in her holidays threw at her. It surely couldn't be that bad? But obviously it was, and he needed to know, not wanted, but needed.

How could anyone, even he, the supposedly cold, cruel, self preserving Ice Prince, not care? Or at least want to know what was wrong? He decided he really needed to talk to her, even if it was just to use his observation skills as he doubted he would get anything out of her, and pressing the issue would make her even more likely to avoid him and preventing him from helping her. He stopped then, he was thinking about helping someone other than himself, or another Slytherin, it was almost unheard of. He put it from his mind, tiredness again creeping up on him after his hectic day, and he decided he really couldn't face heading up to the Slytherin common room to visit his friends, and perhaps assert his power a little, Head Boy might have its advantages... although, he decided, he wasn't going to abuse his newfound power to readily, it couldn't help.

Flopping, no descending gracefully in a way totally befitting a Malfoy, on the sofa, and pointing his wand at the fire whispering 'Incendio' he let his head fall back and in seconds he was sleeping.

He awoke in the early, the morning sun filtering through the tower windows, the light surprisingly yellow for early September, groaning, he glanced over at the clock on the mantel piece, it was 6 o'clock in the morning for goodness sake! What normal person was up at this hour? Along with that thought, came the soft thud of the portrait hole behind him. Hermione! She was up, what on earth? Was she avoiding him? Or did she normal get up this early? He had no idea what was going on, but the second he took to think those thoughts, he realised he should probably go after her and talk to her about the first night on the train, as he had finally got an inkling that she really did 'live with him' so that alone probably gave him some kind of responsibility to do something as much as part of him didn't want to get involved, or just wanted to go and see a teacher, to get rid of this issue, he knew he couldn't that would be betraying Hermione in one of the most personal and deeply scaring issues, even he wouldn't, couldn't bring himself to do that. As he made to stand, he realised he was still in his robes, he could not go running out there like that! He'd slept in them for goodness sake! And they were rumpled, he looked like Weasley on a good day, although, he thought to himself, with much better hair. Bringing himself back to earth imagined what would happen if he was spotted! And to top it off, he seriously needed the toilet.

It was now Wednesday and Draco, thanks to the annoying timing of the calls of nature, had yet to speak to Hermione, she seemed to slip out early every morning and get back either ridiculously early and be asleep, or so late he really couldn't stay up! It was driving him insane! And where on earth was she going in the free periods?

He knew that she had Charms first thing on Monday and then he figured she must have a free period after that, as he did and the only people who didn't were taking Care Of Magical Creatures, which he was certain neither of them were. Then she had Ancient Runes, with him, although it was difficult to say anything in that classroom, partially due to the house divides, Ravenclaw , Hufflepuff and Gryffindor all on one side, with the exception of a few more adventurous Ravenclaw's, who sat on the other side with the Slytherin contingent. It was a double, so after that there was dinner in the great hall, and no matter how he tried, he couldn't seem to speak to her on the way there. This was quite possibly due to his gang of Slytherins who insisted on following him around like lost puppies; he had no idea what they did when he wasn't in the common room! They were so dependent, it worried him somewhat. After dinner, she must head back to the Gryffindor common room, and there was just no way he was going to follow her back there come hell or high water, he'd rather eat Paracelsus' left toenail than be found hanging around outside the Lion's Den!

Then there was Tuesday's potions lesson, he just hadn't got to her in time, damn it all, then he thought she had Charms and History of Magic, the first was split into 3 classes, as there were so many applicants, even Longbottom had got in! Draco rolled his eyes at that. No, all in all, he had utterly failed to get her on her own, and he didn't want to intimidate or frighten her in any way, that would not be a smart move, but they had to sort out this meeting!

It was first lesson, having spent most of his morning pondering Hermione's timetable, he had rushed to breakfast, gulped down a cup of pumpkin juice and rushed to lesson. Luckily, as he was so late, no one had been around to see this display of un-Malfoy-ish conduct as he had leapt from the stool, having stuffed down half a bowl of dry cornflakes and rushed to his first lesson. Double Defence Against The Dark Arts... with the Gryffindors ... oh what fun. Although, saying that, he might get a chance to talk to Hermione.

Hermione herself was a little worried about this next lesson, it was mostly Slytherin and Gryffindor, but all the houses had been mixed in an attempt to enhance inter-house unity, this was the first time that she and Draco would be in a lesson of the sort where you could end up in close proximity with anyone, and all of the class tended to be treated as one big ground, all mixed around. She was looking forward to this year though, because, (A/N in true unoriginal FF style) It had been announced, that, by popular vote, Professor Lupin, though known to she, Harry and Ron as Remus, was returning! It had never been done before, but no one else would take the position and no one wanted another ministry chosen fiend although, they couldn't possibly be worse than the toad.

So she was off to her first DADA lesson of the term, with Harry and Ron chattering happily to her about what they were likely to be studying. She was curious as well, for although she had done extensive reading over the summer, stealing time whenever he father was out, her studies where her sanctuary, you never knew what Professor Lupin might pull out of the bag.

Entering the classroom, she saw a scene that many, including, Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnegan, both of whom were staring at the change in trepidation, and Neville was shaking with fear, never wished to see again in their born days, and standing next to the massive cage, with a large bag like cover on the top, was Professor Lupin himself. Hermione briefly registered the irony of her previous thought, for he truly was going to 'pull something out of the bag', quite a few, madly rattling, blue things, to be precise.

Hurrying to sit down before the class began, she lead Harry and Ron to the far side of the classroom, distancing herself from Malfoy as much as was humanly possible, she settled down, getting out her books, although cautiously, tempted to put a sticking charm on them in the event the pixies where let out.

She then took her first proper look at Remus. He wasn't quite so thin as usual and his hair, although still greying, didn't seem to have progressed in its ageing process much, his robes, while still distinctly care warn, were not patched or frayed and were completely free of blemishes. Hermione smiled with true pleasure, hopefully, just hopefully, something would go right for the wonderful man, who had seemed cursed by his monthly tendencies.

Snapping back to the present, she saw that Lupin was moving around to the front of his desk to stand before the class, as Ron whispered in her ear,

'Looking much better isn't he, like he's got a few descent meals in him and stuff'

Hermione smiled at Ron and nodded, seeing Harry looking happily at Remus, who was just beginning to speak.

' Good Morning class, I have to say it's wonderful to be back, I never thought I would get such fantastic opportunity twice, now, I'm sure many of you are wondering, from the ominous rattling on this cage, what is in there?' There was a pause ' Or perhaps not, I have heard many tales of these classes' His eyes twinkled at Harry, ' And I thought that we might start with a little lesson that it seems might have gone awry for no reason I can image' He was now hiding a smile. 'I believe Professor Lockhart took a class with you on Cornish pixies?'

There was a hesistant and sometimes terrified nod from the members of the class.

'Well, today we shall be repeating a similar class, although, you are now older and should hopefully be able to handle all that I can throw at you.' He smiled around at the class, his eyes creasing at the worry on many faces.

'Oh and I wanted to remind you that today is a double class and as such you will be missing first break, but you have second break before what I believe is your next double, and you should find this a reasonably relaxing lesson.'

'Now if everyone would take out their wands and books, would you turn to page 63 of Defensive Magical Theory an Advanced Guide by Abalbert Waffling?'

'The spell we are going to learn today is a relatively simple charm, now I know that you should all have mastered the mobilicorpus by know, which would enable you to freeze the pixies, but instead, we are going to try a different, more practical method of deterrence, as, who wants to deal with 100 or so frozen pixies?'

The class let out a collective chuckle.

'What we are going to do, is perform a spell that will distract the Pixies, it is designed to make them become wanton and happy, a carefree pixie, but along with this, it makes them a little hazy. Should you perform it correctly, your pixie will float or wander amiably about around you, occasionally turning and dancing around. It will then easily follow simple guidance to wherever you want it to go, this charm has the advantage of wearing off slowly, so the pixies will stay where you want them for a long time.'

'Now, everybody keep their wands on the desk and repeat after me, 'contendus'.

'Contendus' Murmured the class.

'Well done, once more, a little more enunciation on the 'T'. 1,2,3'

'Contendus'

'Very good, now, I am going to give each of you a pixies' He rolled his eyes chuckling 'Don't look so apprehensive, just keep a tight hold of it's ear when you take it from me and keep holding it until you get the spell.'

'Ho..' Started Hermione

'How will you know if it worked?'

'Yes sir' she smiled.

'Your pixie will relax into your hand and possibly sway slightly, now, one at a time, come and grab a Pixie'.

Once the whole class had a pixie, which resulted in quite a few bitten fingers and mutters of healing charms, Professor Lupin said ' Right everyone, off you go' And so it began.

Hermione had her Pixie firmly by the ear, and pointing her wand at it, she silently performed the spell.

Lupin was watching her, he had been since she came in, she didn't look quite right, a little thin and ill, but perhaps it was stress, he watched in fascination as she pointed her wand at the pixie, and it went limp. No incantation had passed her lips. Walking over to her, he bent low,

'Very Impressive Miss Granger' He grinned at her '50 points to Gryffindor!'

Startled Hermione beamed at Ron and Harry both of whom had heard. They had matching grins, and winked at her startled expression.

'You know what? I reckon it had something in common with Luna that pixie'

'What do you mean?' Said Ron, knowing full well

' You know, just the way it seemed to be dancing with itself, she's wonderful Luna is' Harry chuckled.

Making her way out of class, she was on cloud 9, bouncing along beside Ron and Harry, both of whom looked at her like she was possessed.

'Why are you so happy?'

'50 points! 50! I've never go t that many before, I mean I know it was wandless magic and everything, and I know that's a bit advanced, but wow!'

'Granger'

Hermione stopped her bouncing monologue and turned, knowing what she would see.

'Malfoy'

Ron and Harry came up on either side of her like bodyguards.

'What do you want Malfoy?'

' Granger' He said ignoring Ron's annoyed visage ' We need to arrange that prefect meeting, as we seem to keep missing each other, so I thought every Thursday night perhaps, for the first few weeks, then every other? I looked up everyone's timetables and thought that sounded best. Oh and Weasley, to answer your question, being Head Boy, I do tend to need to have something vaguely resembling a civilised conversation with the Head Girl. Turning back to Hermione he asked, 'so what do you think?'

'That sounds perfectly fine Malfoy, I already have some Ideas for the agenda, as I'm sure you do, we can each bring a list with us that should work out just right. See you in potions.'

The bat like professor swept down upon them detailing today's assignment, to make an attempt at the 'Elixir Animales' which contained the properties able to help a wizard discover their animal aura, something useful when learning to become an animagi, or simply learning about your individual magical and general weak points, they would also be doing some similar work on magical auras with professor Lupin in future lessons.

Hermione had perfected her potion to the halfway stage at the end of the 2 hours, and Harry, who had been doing some hard studying over the summer, yes Hermione was seriously shocked as well, was very close behind her, he only had to add the hellebore and stir counter clockwise until his potion emitted the faint purple vapour rising in curls from Hermione's potion, to be finished.

Staring at Harry's slightly sooty face, she proudly handed him a vial in which to keep a sample of his potion, he grinned at her, shocked at himself, and then became sober as professor Snape made his way over.

As the class had been conducted in silence there was no way Harry could have had any help from Hermione, Ron's congealed mess was proof enough, so Snape passed Harry's cauldron by without comment, as he did with Hermione's every time she produced her perfect potion, which was by the way, every time. Ron however was less fortunate.

'However you managed to create this ghastly concoction is a mystery, even to me, so I suggest you write me a 2ft essay on the correct method, and how this potion benefits from careful observation, for tomorrow, bring it up to be before breakfast, I shall be in here. The rest of you, 2 rolls of parchment on how a wizard's 'animal aura' can be detected using potions and how it can also reveal traits in personality, class dismissed.

That night, it was astronomy up in the tallest tower, Professor Sinistra, with an equally airy name as Trelawney, but a strict work ethic to belay all thoughts of making up your homework. This 'star gazing' was serious stuff.

After dinner in the Great Hall, they would make their way up the astronomy tower, every time bemoaning the length of the walk, carrying their brass telescopes and star charts, always with a satchel full of fresh rolls of parchment, some with circle drawn on them in which to draw the phases of the moon, or the changing of the stars from winter to summer.

It was mercifully unclouded when they reached to top of the tower, and the professor detailed them to finding and drawing, in the correct place on their charts, Pleiades, or more specifically the 7 sisters, it was located in the constellation of Taurus, one of the nearest to the earth, and easy to see with the naked eye. This made spotting it far easier, although, placing it on a blank chart took some concentration. They spent the full night drawing in detail the area surrounding it, and got as far as the first star in Orion's belt before the class was ending. Everyone rubbed their eyes where they had been pressed again the telescopes for the past few hours and stretched, gathering up parchment and quills and stuffing it all into their respective satchels they made their way down the spiral stairs as one.

At the bottom, Hermione turned to see Draco walking down a few steps behind, he had just said to Blaise that he would go back to his common room rather than come up to Slytherin so late, and he caught Hermione's eye, she nodded infinitesimally.

'Night Harry, Ron, I'm going back to my room now' She smiled hugging them both.

'Night Hermione, see you in the morning, Prefect meeting tomorrow, oh what fun!'

'Night Hermione, I forgot to tell you, I found that planner you gave me in 3rd year was it? And its still squeaking at me to do my homework, so I decided I'd make it into my quidditch diary so I could keep tabs on everything, cause I'm going to have to set up trails soon'

'Oh my goodness Harry! I forgot you were Captain still, I'm hopeless, well, I'm glad its put to some use' She said in a darkly amused fashion ' Go on, get on with you, you homework evading sneaks'

Harry and Ron hurried down the corridor, and off to the common room, leaving just Hermione and Malfoy, alone properly for the first time in she didn't know how long.

'Hermione, I..' Draco started.

'Look Draco, can I just say my piece a second, then we can get on?'

He nodded, looking a little suspicious.

' Okay, firstly, I want to say thank you, no no, shhh. Thank you, for keeping it all to yourself, now I'm sure you want an explanation, and you deserve one after everything, but please, I need you to understand I need time. I don't want to confront this, and I'm not promising anything, but could I talk to you about it after the prefect meeting, just let me try to get my head sorted. Its very strange, having not told anyone to have someone who I only know as a ' Mudblood hater' so involved, I don't understand, and It scares me that everything has changed in such a short space of time, I really don't get most of what is going on, and having you know something so close to me, well, I'm not sure, but please, can we talk after the meeting, I need to get myself a little more sorted, and I'm not really read y for that, I'm not going to be telling much.'

Draco again nodded, a little stunned, and finally asked ' There is one thing that bothered me most about your note. Potter and Weasley. How can they not know?'

' Harry suspects something I believe, but I am very good at what I do, I've been doing it for a long time'.

'How..?' Draco started, but Hermione cut him off.

'Not now, let's get back, I'm tired and I'm sure you are to.'

A/None - 10 pages! I'm proud of myself! Woo! Okay here it is, I've been going at this for ages, but again, RogueWeyah, this is all due to you, its probably not the best, but I need to get back into the swing of things, so there it is :P

A/N Okay, wrote the first author note awhile ago.., not much of an excuse really... but now my life is sorted out as far as exams go I had my last one today! Yay! Anyhow... well, I'm back, from now on I will really try to update as often as I can and really pick up the pace of the story, cause no one wants it to drag, tell me if it is :O I should warn everyone that during August, I will probably not be updating for the first few weeks, I have family down, and then I'm away. I know the whole long absence thing is nothing new... sorry for that. To think I started this fic on New Year's Day...Well, night! It's been ages. I had it all planned out and everything! But I refuse to give up, there may be huge gaps and for those I apologise. RogueWeyah I know you reviewed a little while ago now, but honestly it's taken me this long to get my bearings with the story again and back on track... I'm a bit hopeless like that. Then I read through everything I'd already done again and noticed mistakes! Ahh mistakes! Which mean things I'd planned for later wouldn't work... Draco's shirt being one of them :P I'll resubmit that one so you guys can see what I mean XD Assuming my amazing reviewers are reading this thing, I know I often just skip them... and this is looooonnggg! Right, okay, apologies and excuses and explanations out of the way, there is a little button below which I believe indicated the need for REVIEWS! REVIEW COOKIES! Any flavour, you get to request


	9. Chapter 9 Dreams Return

Chapter 9-

It was the next morning, Hermione rolled over groaning, her head in a spin and body shaking. The dreams where back. Opening her eyes, she felt sticky tear tracks constricting her cheeks. Shaking her head slowly to rid it of her own pounding screams, beating to the rhythm of forced hate; she made her way to the bathroom. She purged her body of all nutrience, knowing she was about to enter the mandatory filling station people called 'The Great Hall'.

Pushing reluctant garments onto her ever thinning frame, she observed her jumper was now hanging a little on the bottom, so she could pull it in at the sides. She smiled, torturously pleased with her efforts.

Walking into the hall, she spotted the patch of colour indicative of a Weasley, accompanied by the jet black disarray of her other best friend. Wending her way past several Ravenclaw's, who had already eaten and where no doubt heading to their lessons. So as to be overly prepared for whatever the day held in store, of course. Rolling her eyes, she placed herself opposite the two sleep headed figures, one of whom was currently too immersed in his food to notice her.

'Morning Harry'

'Hey Hermione'

'Morning Ron'

'Uhg, oh morn-ughng' He swallowed 'Hermione'.

That set the tone for the day.

Hermione had spent the latter part of the evening in the common room with Ron as he attempted, yet again, to teach her wizards chess. She was insisting she didn't want to learn, and that if he had to teach her, why they couldn't use a nice normal muggle board. This was a discussion they always had about the barbaric nature of the wizard's version, and Ron had no way to know that the violent nature of the player affected Hermione far more than she would ever admit. Following this failed attempt to reason with Ron in there repetitive argument, and ignoring Harry's rolling eyes as he finished his potions essay with a flourish (Hermione was very impressed that his dedication hadn't wavered, despite Ron's complaints he was becoming a male Hermione) she told Ron to go and make himself look respectable as they were off to the Prefect meeting soon. She herself checked her bag for all her pre-prepared notes on the agenda, and made sure she had a copy of the running order for everyone, including ample time for other issues, and outside suggestions, and of course, her to-do list, complete with 'write to father' she re-shrunk all these and put them back in her satchel, on which she had ingeniously placed a feather light charm. Everything she needed in one little bag.

They were on their way to the meeting, Ron had finally got sorted after fishing about for sometime in search of matching socks, finally giving up and borrowing Harry's snitch covered creations, they reached the classroom in which the meeting had been scheduled, the 4th classroom on the 3rd floor to be precise, and entered, as the door was already open. Draco and the other Slytherin prefect Pansy Parkinson were in there, as well as Hannah Abbot and Ernie McMillan, the Ravenclaw contingent sent there apologies and a list of suggestions for the meeting, saying that this meeting was at an inconvenient time for this week only, as it clashed with the holiday homework comprehension class, but that they would attend next time.

Ernie sidled up to Ron and Hermione, looking much more at ease now he wasn't alone with the 'evil' Slytherins.

'Hello chaps and Hermione I should say how was your summer break?'

Pompous as ever, Ernie had asked just the wrong question, and Hermione went quite, Ron however covered up her lapse in attention unknowingly, by detailing Ernie and Hannah who had come over to join them, on the family holiday they had all taken to France with Bill and Fleur, this had helped to mould the family back together following the war, and Ron had enjoyed it enormously.

Following Hermione's moment of unawareness, she brought herself out of the downward spiral. She had to get herself back on track, she never used to get like this, just the terror that someone might know, or the hope and fear that someone might try to help was killing her inside. And she still had to write today's letter to her father. Shuffling her notes, she pushed them in Malfoy's direction, indicating that he should lead, and hoping he would take the initiative, she really didn't care right now if he passed it off as his own work, and she just didn't want to talk right now, being around Malfoy put her on edge.

She answered all his questions automatically, as if in a daze, and Ron looked mildly concerned. He elbowed her lightly in the ribs.

'Hey, Hermione, you okay? You look a bit out of it, hospital wing?'

And that was all the excuse she needed, she should have got out of there, recognised her downward spiral and dealt with it, alone, just her. Instead she nodded she was fine, while thoughts of the bathroom and sounds of purging, glorious and gut wrenching, came to mind, the prospect was looking more and more inviting as Ron's glances got more and more concerned.

Malfoy was watching. He saw Hermione tense at Ron's whispered question, saw the slight illogical panic in her cinnamon eyes, the fire and spice, fight or flight reaction of a wild creature, he saw the inner build, and then he saw her snap.

Hermione stood abruptly, she turned from Draco and walked with great urgency from the meeting, Ron met Draco's eyes, something accusatory about his stare. Ron stood, making to follow her, then muttered, 'she said she was just feeling a bit out of it'

He knew that wasn't quite true, Ron had muttered questions to her, and she had only nodded, a yes, so maybe she was ill, but she hadn't answered, so maybe she couldn't say, or wouldn't say what was wrong. Maybe Ron her little ginger pet, her weasel, really didn't know.

Everyone watched as Ron made to get up and follow, but Draco called him back.

'I'll go'

'But, what, no, Malfoy, I won't have you chasing about after my best friend to taunt her, you have some kind of ulterior motive in any case'

'Weasley, my only motive is that you are H-Granger's friend, and would probably be best equipped to continue the meeting while I am gone, as I am sure you know more about what she wanted to contribute than I do. I can also get into the Head's quarters, where as you yourself cannot. Now I am going, the agenda is there'

What no one noticed was the concerned narrowing of Malfoy's eyes, the way his lip crinkled slightly with worry. But had they, they would have taken it for a sneer of disgust and a malicious glare. Malfoy however now wished nothing more than to leave the room in search of the bushy haired Gryffindor.

'She's probably gone back to the common room, she wasn't feeling great'

'Thank you Weasley, I cannot continue to hold the meeting without the head girl present'

Infact, Hermione didn't return to the common room. She ran blindly, a quick excuse and she was gone, not even coherent in her current state. She turned corner after corner and rushed a set of stairs heading up to the 3rd floor, where, finally, she collapsed crying in a deserted classroom, peeves' echoing catcalls could be heard from a nearby corridor, but her sobs broke through his warbling torment as she flashed her wand in the direction of the door and chocked a silencing charm.

She didn't know why she had snapped, this was getting more and more frequent, but at least Ron seemed to think that she was just a bit out of sorts; perhaps it was puberty catching up with her, maturing her more. Oh wouldn't her dear Daddy love that she thought sarcastically. Her mind began to wonder, until shattered and beyond dreams, she fell into a stupor like sleep.

Malfoy was seriously worried. No. He was mildly concerned. That was why he had stopped the meeting so soon after Hermione had left. The excuse he 'shouldn't continue without the head girl present' sounded lame even to him. But this was why he, Draco Malfoy, was to be found walking along the corridor he had seen her go down, on his way back to their dormitories, hoping against hope that that was where she was. She wasn't of course. He retraced the routes she could have taken, but the only things along each deserted corridor were locked or deserted classrooms, it seemed Hermione had hidden herself well, unless she had indeed made her way back to the Gryffindor Common Room. Draco couldn't see why she would, it was known to be one of the noisiest places in the castle, and with her fragile state, he thought that that would be the very last place she'd go.

Now that he was in the dormitories, there was nothing to do except sit and wait, and unfortunately, that meant sitting in front of a warm fire, with a mug of unintentionally de-caffeinated coffee, oh for the love of house elves.

Hermione now knew she had some explaining to do, but she had decided to put it all down to the stress of work, so Ron and Harry's incredulous 'But we've only just started term' s would seem just as normal. Her pile of work however wasn't entirely fabricated and she would have to keep it that way if she was to continue with these ridiculous breakdowns.

Making her way out of the classroom she thought she heard a set of footsteps further down the corridor walking with a certain click. Dismissing this, she hurried in the opposite direction, through the courtyard and up the marble staircase. She made her way to the common room, following routes she would normally avoid, finally reaching the sleeping fat lady. It was then she realised. She didn't know the password. She had arrived late at the beginning and had been mostly using the shared common room and it had totally slipped her mind.

She heard another set of footsteps behind her, 3 if she wasn't mistaken. She turned, Ron and Neville were making their way towards her, Ginny in toe. This was going to be interesting, but hopefully Harry was in the common room and could diffuse any situation.

'Hey! Hermione! Where'd you run off to, Malfoy went looking'

Did he now? This wasn't good; she really didn't need Malfoy any more on her case than he already was.

'I was feeling faint'

She thought she heard Ginny mutter 'More food required' But continued.

'I've been working too hard, I have so much to be doing'

'Hermione' Ron whined 'It's the start of term!'

'You know how I like to get ahead Ron'

'I know, but you could, you know, well, hang out with me, and Harry of course, yeh, and Gin, um some more, we'd really love that, you, um don't have to work so hard all the time'

Oh dear, she didn't need Ron on her tail.

'Thanks guys, but don't worry, just the same old me, have I ever worked too hard?' She chuckled, darkly.

'And by the way, as we're all standing outside, what's the new password?'

'Mockingbird'

'Miss Hermione Granger, forgetting the password?' Said Ginny as they stepped through the portrait hole

'That's my job' joked Neville

They all walked into the common room laughing, and spotted Harry, much to Hermione's surprise, surrounded by books.

Hermione spent the evening with her friends, totally carefree, the best she'd felt in ages, and she wished that she could just stay there for the night. They joked about Ron's impending chess match with Ginny, she was taught by the best. Ron himself of course. Hermione was amazed as Harry passed her two finished essays to read through, and both, to her pride, were well written and coherent. Not up to top standard yet, but he'd covered all basic points, and elaborated, adding some interest. He really seemed to be getting it. She told Ron to pick up tips. He blushed. Now, that wasn't the idea she'd wanted to get across.

Ginny, possibly with an ulterior motive, brought out a box of chocolate frogs, and Hermione, having refused them once, was finally persuaded to have one by Ron's incessant moaning that it 'might have Ptolemy! I've been trying to get that one since 1st year!'It didn't but Ron seemed content with his chocolate, and Hermione ate hers without fuss.

That night Hermione left much happier than she'd been in a long time, her friends around her, and everything seemed normal. She only realised how late it was when she glanced out of one of the windows and saw it was pitch black save for the moon and a scattering of stars, she hurried now, back to the head's dormitories.

As soon as she walked out she realised just how late it was, and she hadn't asked Harry if she could borrow his invisibility cloak! Oh well, she was the head girl, she could get away with it, she hoped so anyway, as that seemed to Professor McGonagall heading her way.

'Hello Professor' she said as she approached.

'Good evening Miss Granger, I presume your heading back to your common room, as you are out late'

'Yes professor, I was just spending some time with my housemates'

'Quite right Miss Granger, and by the way, did you take notes, or have any significant points from the meeting?'

Hermione paused. She couldn't lie, but she could avoid mentioning the incident.

'Well Professor, I have some of my notes of relevant points and ideas for the meeting, but I believe that one of the other prefects was taking notes at this session'

'Thank you Miss Granger, if you could get hold of them and compile them into something readable, don't spend too much time off your studies mind you, I'm sure you have it all organised, goodnight Miss Granger, see you in classes'

'Good night professor'

Hermione hurried off, that went very well.

The portrait squawked as she tapped gently on the frame to wake the sleeping figure. Whispering the password, she pushed it open, holding her breath as the hinges moved smoothly. No creaking, thank goodness. She stepped through, and it swung shut behind her. Turning, she saw Draco Malfoy. Asleep. Hermione breathed out a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding. Tiptoeing past him and up the stairs, casting muffliato on her door, she slipped out of her clothes and into bed, far too tired to remember to do anything about the chocolate frog from earlier.

Broken cries and soft whispers filled the air, pleading and shattering screams.

She gasped back into reality, focusing on her breathing and her heartbeat. He had been clawing at her clothes, her own blood down her body. Mirror shards forced into her back, making her writhe and shudder with the awful intensity. It was like it was real, right there. The hatred and lust in his eyes had told her he was serious that first time. He'd defiled her. She was disgusting.


	10. Chapter 10 Moving Forwards

Chapter 10- Moving Forwards

It was too quiet when Malfoy woke next morning, perfect calm. He knew that Hermione would be up and getting dressed about now, he had set his alarm earlier so that he could get going at the same time as her, but he heard nothing. Dressed, he stepped out of his bedroom. No early morning sounds of dressing, no shower, nothing. Strange. He stood there for a few minutes waiting and the door was pushed open. Hermione emerged with damp hair obviously from a recent shower, dressed in her uniform but looking incredibly tired. It struck him as odd that he hadn't heard the shower. The thing was damn powerful with magic jets of steaming water which always spattered noisily on the tiled surface. He heard it every morning. Then, that must mean that Hermione had soundproofed her room... why? Was she enjoying some 'immoral' liaisons with some unknown body, maybe the red head? But that didn't seem likely. Or maybe she had 'alone time' but that wouldn't need a permanent silencio. Then he thought of all he suspected and the bags under her eyes. Nightmares. Of course, he couldn't imagine her having a serene night of sleep, not if all he suspected had happened to her. All of this took about a split second to pass through his mind, and he was brought back to reality with Hermione's crisp, if slightly fragile:

'Morning Malfoy'

'Granger' He nodded his head and they made their way to breakfast, he not wanting to enquire as to her night's sleep, and she obviously wanting to get on with the day ahead.

He met his friends at breakfast, Blaise was sitting there preening as usual, checking his reflection, not so subtly, in a spoon.

'Careful it doesn't crack, I doubt anyone's cracked a spoon before just by looking at it' He smirked at his best friend. Yes, Malfoy had a best friend. He hadn't before, what with the war and his family, he had to maintain a standard of intimidation, and power, but friendless.

'It'd be worse if you were looking at it pretty boy' Blaise retorted. 'Anyway, what have you been doing? I've hardly seen you, and you barely speak to me at breakfast, starting into space most of the time.'

'I've just been tied down by all this head stuff'

Draco thought about just what 'all this head stuff was. Hermione. Someone was hurting her, he thought it likely it had been for some time, and he was the only one who knew. The responsibility that gave him was incredible, but he also knew that she was scared, scared of the power that that gave him over her. But he would never use it, he couldn't taunt her, not with something so horrific. He didn't know the depth of the problem; he just knew something was seriously badly wrong.

'Well, some head duties' Blaise interrupted his thoughts 'I'm glad I'm not doing it'

'No' Draco laughed 'Well you wouldn't be would you, you spend far too much time preening to be able to do any kind of extra duty, I'm always immaculately turned out, but you seem to need several hours every morning to check every tiny detail'

'Well, it pays to be perfect' Blaise winked.

'Stop flirting Zabini, straight remember...'

'I know, but it's just so fun to know I can get under your skin, someone has to crack that Malfoy composure sometimes, you know you've smiled at least twice! People will be starting to think you're ill!'

'Blaise, enough. Let's head to class.' I was more of an order than a question, but he knew that Zabini would just refuse if he felt the need to pile some more eggs on his plate. However, he didn't so they headed off, Blaise trailing slightly behind, too get a good view Draco suspected, but it didn't bother him unduly, he knew that it was never going to happen. Draco took a quick look at the Gryffindor table as he walked out and found the red head and then Hermione, sighing, in relief or worry he didn't know, he pushed open the door.

'Good afternoon everyone' Professor Lupin addressed the class with his easy manner. He was looking slightly better, maybe the few good meals had helped? It was Hermione's last lesson before dinner in the Great Hall. She'd had no free periods today as of yet.

Charms with Professor Flitwick had been good, she'd taken part in some of Harry and Ron's silliness well Ron's, as they were creating minor reality altering charms such as the gravity reversal one Harry had faced in the maze. Ron had managed to make his alternate reality a Quidditch pitch where no one needed a broom to fly and scoring through one of the goals resulted in a shower of fireworks. Hermione laughed when she stepped into it, she quite enjoyed flying she found, when it didn't involve a broom or a hippogriff. Harry's alternative reality was simpler. He had made a small house in the country with a swing seat and trees and sun. There was the sound of laughter in the air and the table was set outside with tea for a family. It was Harry's dream and it made Hermione appreciate the love she had had for her Mum when she saw it. Harry had no one. She should be thankful.

After Charms she'd had the dull soporific voice of Professor Binns for an hour then lunch a quiet affair as everyone, Ron in particular of course was ravenously hungry. Hermione herself ate a full meal, under Ginny's watchful gaze. Then after lunch she made her way to Arithmancy to immerse herself in figures and complicated long divisions and mathematical theories until Defence Against the Dark Arts with the Slytherins, which was where she currently was.

'Now today in class we are going to continue our work on magical auras, I'm hoping that everyone has their books, we're just going to quickly skim through the main points of chapter 2 and then we shall work on recognition and practice our spell work from last time. If we're successful, we might even move onto compatibility'

Parvati tittered.

'Entirely theoretical Miss Patil, no one is certainly matched just because of a compatible aura, never the less, we shall discuss it and see if we think it has any merit as a theory. Now let's begin Chapter 2, a little theory. Magic auras are distinctive and each pertains to every individual, they are unique, no two auras are the same, yet there are some similarities which also make it easier to recognise possible compatibility, discussed later in the book...'

Lupin continued.

They completed the chapter; Hermione took notes on the relevant facts, and volunteered information when Lupin asked. She was finding the topic interesting, but was far too tired to participate actively in the lesson. She sighed barely noticeably when Harry and Ron grabbed her after the lesson and to her utter surprise; they dragged her to the library.

'What are you doing?' She was slightly confused as to what her two best friends were doing actively wanting to go to the library... this was certainly unusual.

'Hermione... you know you're our best friend...and we love you loads and loads...' Ah. Now she understood.

'What do you want?

'Well, do you think you could use your amazing wonderful talent and explain to us what on earth Professor Lupin was on about with all that stuff about auras?' Ron pleaded.

'What didn't you understand?'

'Um...'

'Okay wrong question. What did you understand?'

'Well, I sort of understood the bits about everyone having individual auras, because everyone's different aren't they...' Started Harry

'And I think I understand why people might have similarities, because, well, we all like chocolate ice cream...'

'Only you would related it to food Ron' Hermione laughed 'But yes, everyone has a unique aura, but you can compare different ones and there is always some sort of pattern'

'What is..?' Started Harry.

Hermione interrupted 'basically, each aura has three strands, the strand of magic, which connects every witch and wizard too their magical core, and the core of their wand, or whatever they channel their magic through'

'So when people do wandless magic, do they channel it through their...hands?'

'Yes, exactly Ron!'

'No need to sound so surprised' Ron grouched. Hermione laughed again.

'The other two strands are a little more controversial, some people say they are the strands of the soul, as they are basically your personality, but some warlocks believe that they are directly connected to your spirit, and are sucked out of you for example, when you receive the dementor's kiss'

'God, that's horrible and Sirius nearly!'

'Yes, yes nearly. So there is the strand of magic and the soul and then the third which again is controversial. It's the 'bond' strand. It is what is supposedly connected when a magical marriage takes place. However, it is unlikely that it is the marriage, as wizards may get a divorce, although rare.'

'Oh! Bill told me about this, when he married Fleur, and she sort of lit everyone up, but him the most the light around her because of her vela heritage literally surrounded him, and that was the soul bond. But he says it wasn't because of the marriage, it was because they were completely in love and pledged each other to one another. It isn't something that happens automatically, and it isn't like soul mates is it?'

'No, not like soul mates, you can in a sense choose who, or if you share a soul bond, but you choose with your emotions. Both people have to experience a sense of utter love for each other and devotion that cannot be broken. It's all very romantic, but it's not binding in the sense that you have one person you must be with, like soul mates it is just that if you find someone whose love for you is on that level, and you reciprocate, you become bonded. That's the idea of the 3rd strand. But as I say there is much speculation'.

'I understand' Said Harry 'and that's why Remus said that people weren't necessarily matched because of a compatible aura?'

'Yes' Hermione was feeling shocked at their understanding, but most of very proud at their genuine interest. The war had affected so many people, but they seemed to have grown up the most. Of course they'd had to.

-LATER-

Hermione was sitting on her bed when she heard Malfoy come up the stairs, at this point she was just too tired to move, so she left the door ajar and stayed sat where she was and hoped he could just walk by.

'Granger'

Apparently she would have to deal with him now.

'Yes Malfoy?'

'I was going to ask you for my shirt back?'

'Your'... shirt?'She raised her eyebrow, confused.

'Yes Granger, my shirt... the one I lent to you when I brought you up here?'

'You... oh, I didn't, of course, thank you' She handed him the shirt, rubbing her hands across the soft material as she passed it to him.

'Now, I know you've been avoiding me Hermione' She noticed the change to her first name. 'and I can understand why you might, but I want to ask you some things'

She dreaded this; she'd been waiting, hoping to avoid it, but of course...

'Why haven't you told Weasley and Potter?' He would have thought that they would be first to know and it worried him. Did she trust no one? Or maybe it was that she didn't trust them to not care for her too much and have to tell someone maybe that was her worst fear?

'What?' That was not at all what she'd been expecting, a lecture, even taunts maybe, despite the evidence of his understanding, but not that, was it concern?

'Why haven't you told Weasley and Potter?' Repeating himself he gritted his teeth.

'Well I didn't want to...'

'Worry them? Shatter their perfect image of you?' He was angry now, couldn't she help herself. He didn't understand why he was angry though, did he care that much?

'No! It's just, no one is meant to know.'

'Is it pride, because you Hermione are the smartest witch in the year, I would have thought you would know not to let pride get in the way...' He was incredulous.

'No!' She was getting angry now, and upset.

'Why then? I don't understand! Why not get help? Anyone would help!' He sounded desperate now.

'HELP!' She shouted 'I'm a damn witch aren't I, these things aren't meant to happen to me, I've got magic so everything must be perfect, I'm good in school so everything must be wonderful, I'm top in the year so my life must be just peachy, who the hell is going to want some image of me as a girl who goes home to be locked up, beaten ,touched' She went quiet , ' who is helpless to save herself, when they could have their perfect Hermione, their brilliant student and head girl, who the hell would want to look for anything else? And you think I could just go and find some help like it's a 'dial this number and you'll get someone to solve your problems' do you'

Draco interrupted, much too late, he was in shock, he thought she'd just been pushed around a bit, not that that was ever acceptable, but beaten locked up.

'..Dial your'...? Never mind. You could have told someone dammit! Anyone, jus t got out of there, or not gone home when you got off the train, got the night bus somewhere, lived off whatever, gone and stayed in the leaky cauldron... anything, anything else! Hermione please, tell me you thought about escaping, tell me you wanted to, you had some sort of plan.'

'You think I didn't?' She whispered. 'You think I didn't dream of it every day since my mum left us, you think that I didn't just want to get out of there, to be free? But he's my father.' She was close to tears, 'And I have to believe that he can get better, he can go back to how it was before, when he'd take me to school and make my packed lunches and we'd sit in the park and throw bread to the ducks' She smiled in memory, and then it faded. 'I hold onto all that love, because it's there somewhere, the man who does those things to me, he's not my Dad, he's just the man that grief has driven in, and I will wait until my Daddy comes back, because he will, he will' And she began to rock backwards and forwards on the bed, tears welling in her eyes, as though she was in another world, there was so much that Draco couldn't see swirling behind those chocolate brown orbs, they looked darker now as she sat there, as her rocking slowed and her breathing calmed.

Wow. An update. Quite a long one too! 2,530! Scary much. Well, RogueWeyah did some rather helpful beta-ing and stopped me skipping through the story a bit too quickly, I seemed to just go from lesson to head common room and back, so I've put in a bit more detail on other bits than before and I hope it helps :D R&R It would make me exceedingly happy to know what you think!


	11. Chapter 11 Interlude

There was sun filtering through the windows, the curtains were open and golden rays dripped through onto the white sheets of the bed. A foot stuck over the side of the bed, dainty and fragile, the skin was so pale. It was trembling slightly, but beautiful.

At the foot of the bed, leaning against the back board was another figure, pale as her, but with sharper features to her slightly rounded cheeks. His eyes were wide open, watching and waiting, his posture stiff and ready.

Her eyelids began to flutter and she stretched one arm around her head, as if she were protecting herself from the day, she rolled over and the covers fell away, Draco, for modesty's sake, looked away for the first time since she fell asleep, his back was so stiff and his legs hand gone to sleep from where, though she hadn't realised it, her other leg had rested. He hadn't moved it because she looked so peaceful and now as he turned his head to watch her waking movements, his neck cracked and the tingly feeling in his leg grew.

'Good Morning' She said, and her voice came out stiff and dry, not at all what she'd expected.

He didn't reply, he just looked at her, looked at her and smiled, for the first time she saw him truly smile, it was an amazing thing.

That evening they sat in their common room, both doing work from earlier lessons. Hermione hadn't seen much of either Harry or Ron lately and she was feeling guilty about it, but she knew she had to get to work on planning the ball, getting her work done (She was really quite excited by the aura charms) and getting her head together, she wanted to be the in control Hermione she knew best.

'Draco'

His head snapped up from where he was staring lazily at his work, he smirked at her.

'Granger, we need to talk about yesterday'

'I know, just not right now. Later. I want to get on with this planning, get that sorted and get my head around what I need to explain first, so can we just leave it and have a good productive morning before I have to deal with it all?

'Okay, but we're not avoiding this anymore'

She nodded tightly and then sighed composing herself.

' We need to get planning on this ball, it's not that far away...'

'Do you really feel the need to pile more work on yourself? Honestly, we've got ages, anyway, I've already sorted the food arrangement with the kitchens. Basically we have to notify the house elves 2 weeks in advance with exactly what we want and how many people will be coming and that's that sorted. So I figured if we start selling tickets the at the end of next month then that will give us time to advertise, get tickets sold, know numbers...'

'Yes, that all sounds good, but how will we know how many to plan for before we've sold the tickets'

'What, no thank you?' She almost thought he was teasing.

'Don't worry, I figured that we could ask teachers to ask each class or house or whatever who would be interested in a ball and get numbers. I figure most people will come, but just to be sure'

'Okay, so if that's sorted, now we need to do decorations, but I can look at that if you've thought about tickets and stuff, do you want me to come up with some suggestions and then we can go through them?'

'Sounds good Granger, less work for me, just nothing too frilly right?'

'Alright fashionista'

She was excited, already planning the little mock ups she was going to make, all completely furnished and finished in miniature, different colour schemes, how the tables would be laid out, food , the little name cards on each table...

'Granger...you look like you've been hit with a hazing charm, snap out of it, we've got work to do on these damn auras'

'Oh right!' There was a pause as she dismissed her crazy planning daydream and she could have sworn Draco rolled his eyes and smirked.

'I've done so much reading on them! They're so interesting!'

A few hours later and Hermione was shattered. After she'd drummed Draco with theory, they'd been pointing their wands at each other trying to reveal each other's auras, unfortunately either the theory didn't work, or both their brains were so frazzled with party arrangements and complicated mindsets and wand movements, that it simply didn't work.

'Merlin that was something. I don't think I even felt a thing of your aura. I thought I'd at least get a taste of the feeling.'

'You realise how little like miss bookworm that sounded right, you're being down right flippant and it's scaring me...'

'I think we're both tired' Said Hermione 'And anyway, who said I have to be a bookworm all the time. I am with Harry and Ron or they'd never do anything, you on the other hand actually do your work, I'm not responsible for you, you're a prefect, Head boy infact, you can get on with it yourself'

'True, but this is quite surreal. This time last year we'd have been tearing each others heads off, and to be honest, I would have been insulting you at every turn and you'd have been lording over me with your superior knowledge' Draco mused.

'I know' she sounded a little sad. 'A lot has changed since last year, you know for one thing, I just can't be the old know it all when you do.'

Draco was shocked. She'd actually brought it up voluntarily. Did this mean that she was finally going to explain?

A/N

Yes, it is an update. And this story is finally going somewhere, next chapter Hermione is going to explain everything about her past and they are going properly connect finally, enough of this beating about the bush :P As always I love to hear from you! This hasn't been beta'ed I frankly just wanted to put something up. I also apologise if it doesn't lead on so well from the last chapter, I've lost track of everything a bit what with long absences. It is also very short, but sometimes I think that's the best way. Anyway, shutting up now. Adios.


	12. Chapter 12 Past Life

When she was younger, Hermione had loved the holidays, she studied so hard during school time, but her days were filled with bullies and taunts 'Book worm' 'Nerd' the only one she didn't get was 'Four Eyes' because, luckily it seemed, she didn't have glasses. But away from the classroom and when she didn't have a book in her hand she spent all of her time with her parents, they would do so much together; they were like a picture book family.

There was one sunny day when they went on holiday to France, they used to go once every few years just to visit because it was where her parents had honeymooned and it was special to them, she can remember making cake for a picnic with her Mum and then packing the basket with every sweet she could think of and 'helping' her Dad to lift it into the car. They would drive up to the top of some high hill, sit in a field and eat all they'd brought. Then they'd lay there pointing at the fantastic cloud shapes. She remembers her eyes falling shut as her parents talked on, then her mother would press as soft kiss to her forehead and begin packing up. When that was done her Dad would walk over, pick her up and whisper

'Sleep now Princess'

They were so happy, she was their perfect little girl, and they were her perfect, loving parents.

Her Mum stopped taking her to school in the morning, because she wasn't out of bed in time, her Dad had to do it all. Sometimes she wasn't even up when Hermione got back. She lay in bed all day and Hermione only saw her because she went into her room at night when her Mum was asleep and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

'I love you Mummy'

Then she'd walk out, shut herself in her bedroom, get out her school work and cry for so long she didn't know where she was. When she finally calmed down and stopped she would work, work until her Dad came up to tell her supper was ready. After awhile, that stopped too, her Dad would forget it seemed, he would spend all day when he wasn't at work just sitting beside her Mum's bed, talking to her, Hermione listened sometimes. He told her all about his day, what he had done, everything, and she just didn't respond, maybe sometimes she might turn her head.

But it wasn't like this all the time, sometimes her Mum would be just her Mum again, and pack Hermione's lunch for the day, send her off to school, tell her she loved her. But this time, the last time, she didn't get up, she never left her room, she only ate when Hermione's Dad forced her to. She was slowly fading into nothing and Hermione's Dad didn't know what to do, he never thought to do to the Doctor over something like this, someone who did nothing. Then one day, Hermione's Mum got up, and this would have been good. But she got up, she went to the bath and she let the blood run down the plug. Hermione came back from school and found her. And she screamed so hard her neighbours heard, she ran to her Mum and pulled at her arms, she bloody arms, she turned off the taps and tried to pull her mother out of the bath. That's all she can remember. The blood, the screams, the neighbours arriving, that hushed call to the police. Then the call to her Dad's work, which was by far the worse. All Hermione heard on the end of the line was silence.

No one knew what to do with her, she was taking to the kitchen and given hot chocolate while the flashing lights pulled up to the house, her Dad came in and didn't even look at her, he just ran to the bathroom, but they wouldn't let him in. The lights flashed through the windows, the cameras clicked upstairs in that room where her Mummy was and her Daddy couldn't go. The shouts of her Daddy, the grief stricken yells as he tried to get to his wife, her Mummy, maybe then it would be alright. And there sat Hermione, with her hot chocolate, tears dripping into it, making it salty, and she knew that was the end.

Flash. Blue lights. Shouts. Screams. Sip of hot chocolate.

Silence.

That was all there was in the house. The police had gone, enquiries done, court cases through.

Suicide.

That was the verdict, of course it looked obvious, but they had to make sure.

Gone.

Hermione didn't understand suicide, she only knew her Mummy wasn't ever going to cuddle her again, or sing her to sleep.

Silence.

Her Daddy didn't speak anymore, he had organised the funeral, and he had lost his purpose, he said nothing.

Alone.

Hermione came back from school like she used to, her Dad was out at work, but he arranged care, so there was someone with her. She still went up to her room, but now she didn't just sit and cry, she sat and cried and screamed, and took her Mummy's clothes and sat on her bed and rocked back and forward, smelling that soft flower like smell that was her Mum's. She sat at her desk and stared at her books, reading as the tears streamed down her nose. Her baby sitter would come up the stairs and ask if she was ready for supper, she would always say yes.

She would come down the stairs, eat her supper and return.

Then her Daddy would be back.

Silence.

The pattern continued.

Silence.

The funeral came, and the service was done. Her Daddy still never spoke, he didn't even cry. There was nothing.

'I miss Mummy'

About 3 weeks later, barely anything had been said, and Hermione broke the silence. Her beautiful, amazing understanding Daddy, the one who called her Princess, who loved her so much along with her Mummy, snapped. And that was it. There was no turning back for them now, it had started, her hell had begun.


End file.
